Immigrants: The People Who Do Our Work - Part 1 of 6

Ever eat at the Iron Horse Grill, the consummately polished restaurant just around the corner from the Jacob Burns Film Center in Pleasantville, NY? Phil McGrath, owner and chef, has been dishing out Timbale of Peaky Toe crab and seared diver scallops with creamed leeks and oyster mushrooms for the past eight years to an appreciative audience and great acclaim. But of course he can’t—and doesn’t—do it alone. Even in this intimate sixty-seat establishment, he has help, lots of it. Four servers, a bartender, a bus person, two food runners, plus four people in the kitchen. Many of these men and women hail from Ecuador and Guatemala and Mexico, and some, perhaps, came to this country illegally.

McGrath requires documentation from everyone he hires, but some of his employees may be among the 60,000 illegal immigrants in our county who serve your dinner at restaurants, cut your grass and plant your shrubs, scrub your floors and polish your silverware, wash your cars and starch your shirts, watch your kids and empty your great aunt’s bedpan in the hospital.

They are the men and women who make America work. And now they and the people who employ them are nervous. Really nervous. They’re nervous because they’re caught in the floodlights of the national furor over illegal immigration. A landscaper who refuses to be named for this story says, “They are terrified.” She quotes rumors that police rounded up 150 men for deportation in Mount Kisco and were setting up roadblocks on Central Avenue in White Plains in May. “They are going after employers also and fining them $10,000,” she adds. None of these tales are true, but they reflect the current state of mind. Congressmen and radio talk-show hosts and letters-to-the-editor writers are ranting about shipping eleven million of them back home and building the Great Wall of Mexico to keep them there.

As unrealistic as some of the proposals may be, our borders are going to be tighter and everyone’s way of life will be affected. Because when it comes right down to it, our local economy, if not our entire way of living, would grind to a halt without illegal immigration.

Take Phil McGrath’s restaurant, for example. “You’ve got to find that help somewhere just to make sure your business survives,” he says. “In Westchester, you’re not going to get many Americans who want to wash dishes and sweep floors.” Once upon a time, teenagers might have filled those jobs, but no longer. “Because of the wealth in this county, it’s hard to get a teenager to work,” McGrath says. “Their parents pay somebody to mow the lawn; the kids don’t want to work for a landscaper. The kids belong to the golf club; they don’t want to work on the golf course.”

“On a broader scale, who’s going to pick the apples and the asparagus and the tomatoes and the cotton?” McGrath adds. “Americans tend to not want to do that labor. Our fruits and vegetables would cost three times as much as they do now if it weren’t for the immigrant labor.”

Part 1 of 6 (originally published in a slightly different version inWestchester Magazine)

Dave Donelson, author of Heart of Diamonds a romantic thriller about blood diamonds in the Congo

"Congo In Crisis" At Suffern Library

The crisis in the Congo is the focus of the talk I'll be giving at the Suffern Free Library Monday, March 16. I'll also read from Heart of Diamonds and show photos from my travels to Africa.

A diamond smuggling scheme drives the plot in my novel, and it represents in many ways the fight for control of the Democratic Republic of Congo’s gold, timber, uranium, copper, coltan, and other natural resources. That struggle has caused nearly six million deaths since 1998, making it the deadliest conflict since World War II.

The talk is at 7 p.m. The library is at 210 Lafayette Ave.

Dave Donelson, author of Heart of Diamonds a romantic thriller about blood diamonds in the Congo

Speak Up For Libraries

When times are tough--as these certainly are--more and more people turn to our libraries for assistance and relief. National estimates of increased traffic in public libraries are echoed in Westchester (NY) county, where I am a trustee of WLS, the cooperative system that serves the 38 public libraries in the county.

Choose a metric:

circulation through our inter-library loan program is reaching an all-time high

people are standing in line waiting to access the Internet through our libraries' computers

enrollment in our career planning program, WEBS, is bursting at the seams (as you might expect)

In short, free public libraries have never been more valuable to the citizens of Westchester county than they are right now. With the economic downturn expected to last many, many more months, this trend is bound to accelerate.

That's why it's more important than ever than our libraries receive as much support as possible from our public funders at all levels. Michael Borges, Executive Director of the NY Library Association, makes the case in this video of his appearance on Senator Liz Krueger’s (D-Manhattan) cable show and NYLA's testimony before the Joint Legislative Budget Hearing.

Both the NY State Assembly and the Senate are preparing to release their budget proposals next week. Despite receiving approximately $24.6 billion in federal stimulus funds, including $2.4 billion for school aid over the next two years, NY state threatens to cut Library Aid funding.

Now is the time to tell your state representatives and senators about the urgent need to restore the proposed 18% cut in Library Aid that will impact all types of libraries, public, school and college. The quickest and easiest way to make your voice heard is to use NYLA's easy online advocacy center.

I hope you'll speak up today.

Dave Donelson, author of Heart of Diamonds a romantic thriller about blood diamonds in the Congo

Time To Break The Silence For Congo

Two strong voices for the Congo were heard recently on NewsChannel 8, an affiliate of WJLA-TV 7 (ABC) in Washington, DC. They are Nita Evele, Co-Chair of Congo Global Action, and Kambale Musavuli, an activist with Friends of the Congo. Their appearance was part of the growing chorus of voices asking the world to step in and stop the violence against women and other depredations against the civilian population stemming from the struggle to control the DRC's mineral wealth. You can watch Nita and Kambale make an articulate, impassioned case for what we can do to break the silence.

I'll be doing my part in the weeks ahead as I continue my speaking tour with appearances at the Suffern (NY) Library on Monday, March 16 at 7 PM and the Shrub Oak (NY) Library on Sunday, March 22, at 2 PM. I'll discuss the current situation in Congo and read passages from Heart of Diamonds that illustrate the dire plight of the people of that war-torn nation.

Dave Donelson, author of Heart of Diamonds a romantic thriller about blood diamonds in the Congo.

Blogger Gives Heart of Diamonds Four-Star Review

Heart of Diamonds got a four-star review at J. Kaye's Book Blog. Among other things, J.Kaye said,

"...one of the most positive aspects of the book was Donelson’s realistic portrayal of the main characters and the warlike conditions in Africa."

For links to more reviews, visit www.heartofdiamonds.com.

Dave Donelson, author of Heart of Diamonds a romantic thriller about blood diamonds in the Congo.

Rape In Congo Exposed by "Ruined"

The Pulitzer flags should be flying over Lynn Nottage's acclaimed play, Ruined, which I saw recently during its NY run. The play exposes the horrors of terror rape in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) through the stories of victims of the crime.

Nottage chose to write a play about the strife in the Congo much the same way I was drawn into the crisis with Heart of Diamonds. She started out to write something else--in her case, an adaptation of Bertolt Brecht's Mother Courage--but was compelled by the reality of the modern tragedy in the DRC to create an entirely different work. The world should be thankful she made that choice.

Ruined centers on Mama Nadi and her tavern cum whorehouse in the Ituri region of the Congo. The stories of Mama Nadi's "girls" are told in a swelling chorus of pathos among a parade of soldiers, rebels, miners, and traders who show up looking for relief from the violence wracking the countryside.

Each of the women tells a story of how they were victimized by the conflict. Josephine (played by Cherise Boothe), the daughter of a village chief, had been cast adrift when the social structure of her homeland was destroyed by war over the region's mineral wealth. Salima (Quincy Tyler Bernstine) was snatched by rebels and used as a sex slave for five months before she returned to her village, only to be rejected by her husband and family.

The plot revolves around Sophie (Condola Rashad), who was "ruined" by a gang of rebels who mutilated her genitals in an act of terror rape all too common in the Congo today. Rashad's performance perfectly captures the tragic effects of the crime. Her sweetly innocent face contrasts sharply with the awkward way her body moves in response to the constant pain from her injuries.

In an telling touch, most of the soldiers, rebels, and miners are played by the same cast members in alternating roles, emphasizing the shifting nature of loyalties and alliances in the real conflict playing out today in the Congo.

Mama Nadi is the star of the play and Saidah Arrika Ekulona portrays her as a flamboyant, strong-willed survivor, hard-crusted but soft-hearted, a woman for the ages. Her bravery in the face of the ever-heightening violence is the pillar that supports the entire play.

The emotional climax comes early in the second act (in a scene that reminded me greatly of Ogastine's story in Heart of Diamonds) when Salima delivers a soliloquy about her horrific experience. The audience literally gasped when she described the details of her capture, then you could hear them squirming uncomfortably as she told how she was used as a sex slave. The theater was struck silent when she related her return to her village expecting succor only to be given the back of the hand and driven away by her husband.

The heart-wrenching, mind-stopping production premiered last fall at Chicago's Goodman Theatre and moved to Manhattan Theater Club's Stage 1 at City Center (where I saw it) this month for a limited time. The run in New York has been extended, but it will probably end soon, so I strongly recommend you order tickets today.

Dave Donelson, author of Heart of Diamonds a romantic thriller about blood diamonds in the Congo.

Reader Comment on Heart of Diamonds

I heard recently from a friend I made at the January 17 Congo Peace Rally in Washington:

Hello Dave,

It was great meeting you in Washington D.C.

I’ve just finished reading your book, Heart of Diamonds. It was a great read which I thoroughly enjoyed. Fast paced and a very exciting finish. I enjoyed the evangelist/corporate connections lurking throughout the novel. I also saw your write-up on the rally in D.C. Thanks for including Osaka!

I’m slowly moving forward with my blog Stealth Conflicts, and have just started a Stealth Conflicts Forum, which is opened up to those interested to write posts on the subject. I’m also planning a photo exhibition/talk on the situation in the DRC with a photojournalist friend.

Keep up the pressure and ‘be strong’!

All the best,

Virgil

Dave Donelson, author of Heart of Diamonds a romantic thriller about blood diamonds in the Congo.

Congo Crisis at Chappaqua Library

Multinational war is heightening the world's worst humanitarian crisis, the on-going struggle over the riches in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). I will be discussing the latest bizarre developments in Congo at the Chappaqua Library, 195 South Greeley Street, Chappaqua, NY, at 7:30 PM, Wednesday, February 11.

I'll also be reading from Heart of Diamonds, my novel based on the Congo's endless struggle, and displaying some of the photos I took in Central Africa while researching the book.

Since my last appearance (a well-attended program at the Scarsdale Library in early December), two foreign armies have marched onto Congolese soil and the already-dire situation has become even more dangerous for the civilian population. The region's fate is balanced on ever-shifting alliances and a teetering democracy.

For a brief look at the situation in the Congo today, visit my Heart of Diamonds blog.

Dave Donelson, author of Heart of Diamonds a romantic thriller about blood diamonds in the Congo

Suburban Sex - Part 7 of 7

Media is one thing, but medical science has changed the sexual attitudes in the suburbs, too. Just look at Viagra. It’s hard to believe, but the little blue pill that launched a million jokes and a gazillion pieces of spam celebrated its tenth birthday this year.

Yes, sildenafil citrate, more popularly known as Viagra, the comedian’s best friend, was approved by the FDA to treat erectile dysfunction in 1999. Thousands of marriages were saved—and probably tens of thousands destroyed—as more than 30 million men lined up for prescriptions and millions more took it without benefit of a doctor’s advice. The AARP declared that Viagra is as significant as the birth control pill that launched the first sexual revolution some 30 years earlier.

A recent AARP study reported that 36% of men 60-69 have intercourse once a week versus 24% of women in the same age group. How do experts explain the discrepancy? Filewich says, “There are a lot more older guys out there cruising for young chicks.”

Another thing that has changed is the ease with which those older guys—and younger people of both sexes—can find like-minded pleasure-seekers. Forget pick-up bars—now it’s all arranged online.

“Adult Friend Finder (www.aff.com) is a big thing,” reports Q, a medical technician who finds pleasure with various partners during her off hours. “I’ve met lots of swingers from Westchester, men who cheat on their wives, guys who are just looking for basic relationships.”

I did a quick check of Westchester listings on the website and found hundreds. Q, a woman in her late twenties who lives in the southeastern part of the county, says she prefers to look for partners online because it’s anonymously discreet and, once both people are comfortable with their online relationship, they can move on to a physical one.

“I’ve found people are looking for variety, not the same old boring thing all the time in bed—the man on top, over in five minutes, do it every Tuesday,” Q explains. “Dressing up, using cuffs, role playing, living out a fantasy, including a third or even a fourth person—people really like variety.”

Even in Westchester.

Read more about Suburban Sex in this seven-part series.

Dave Donelson, author of Heart of Diamonds a romantic thriller about blood diamonds in the Congo

Suburban Sex - Part 6 or 7

Media today, be it the Internet, TV, shock radio, or even billboards, seem to some to be no more than one long smut fest. Observes Dr. Robert Filewich:

“You now have KY Jelly advertised so you can ‘have a more intimate relationship’ with your partner. Whoever thought that would be on TV?”

Ads like that one used to appear only in magazines delivered in plain brown wrappers. Now we can hear similar spots for the Romantic Depot, Westchester’s one and only mature-shoppers-only retailer, on local radio. The store, squeezed into a specially-zoned section of Elmsford, NY, next to the I-287 on-ramp, mostly sells DVDs, but about a third of the floor space is devoted to toys like the “rabbit”, a vibrator with two protrusions. The most expensive model has numerous settings and sells for $228. Bondage items like furry handcuffs, leather straps for every part of your body, paddles, whips, bed restraints have their own section, as does edible underwear. The store has a small foyer with display windows and a much larger 18-and-over room in the back where you can buy your own pole-dancing kit in a tube for $229, which comes complete with a telescoping pole, garter, and instructional DVD. The package carries a helpful warning just like the one on dry cleaner bags: “this is not a children’s toy.”

It’s all part of a Westchester world of little blue pills and battery-powered stimulators, where experts assure us absolutely everyone can get satisfaction—at least physically.

“Men come in looking for better erections,” says Michael Werner, MD, a urologist who also oversees the Medical Center for Female Sexuality. “It’s not my job to make sure they are only using them with their wife.” He hastens to add, “Monogamy is the ideal, but it’s not always the norm.”

Maybe not always, but mostly. According to a study by The University of Chicago's National Opinion Research Center, sexual activity is 25 percent to 300 percent greater for married couples versus the non-married, depending on age. In case you were wondering, the study says married couples between ages 18 and 29 have sexual relations an average of nearly 112 times per year. That rate steadily decreases (but doesn’t disappear!) with age, so that married couples aged 70 and older have sex 16 times a year on average.

“We don’t do it as often as we did before the kids came along,” R says, “but it’s more from lack of opportunity than lack of desire.”

She is a young part-time paralegal with two children in school; her husband, T, works in the banking industry. She adds,

“Why would either one of us want to mess up our marriage and our children’s lives when we make each other happy as it is?”

Few developments have affected our sexual lives as much as the Internet, where “WWW” is inextricably tied to “XXX.” There’s nothing new about pornography, of course. You can find it on ancient Greek pottery and probably on cave walls somewhere. But what’s changed is how easy it is to find online. As Werner pointed out, “It used to be that the only way you could see people having sex was to go to one of those movie theaters where you wore a raincoat. Today, you can accidentally click a link and end up with a porn site.”

Most of those clicks aren’t accidental, of course. Numbers aren’t hard to come by, although they are difficult to verify, but type “sex” into Google and you get 718 million links. The Free Speech Coalition, an industry trade group, reports that $2.9 billion was spent on Internet-delivered porn in 2006, the latest year with available data. That’s a little more than Apple sold online last year. There’s no way to measure the amount of free-porn viewing that goes on, although it’s undoubtedly high. An interesting and often-quoted statistic is that 70% of porn viewing occurs during the 9-5 workday.

Another, darker side of pornography, though, is how it affects people already prone to sex addiction, a very real problem in Westchester as elsewhere. Nationwide, the AAMFT believes 12 million people are afflicted. There is a network of recovery groups for sex addicts just as there are for alcoholics and drug abusers. In Westchester, a fifty-member group affiliated with Sex Addicts Anonymous meets in White Plains. There is another one in Armonk.

Read more about Suburban Sex in this seven-part series.

Dave Donelson, author of Heart of Diamonds a romantic thriller about blood diamonds in the Congo