Media is one thing, but medical science has changed the sexual attitudes in the suburbs, too. Just look at Viagra. It’s hard to believe, but the little blue pill that launched a million jokes and a gazillion pieces of spam celebrated its tenth birthday this year.
Yes, sildenafil citrate, more popularly known as Viagra, the comedian’s best friend, was approved by the FDA to treat erectile dysfunction in 1999. Thousands of marriages were saved—and probably tens of thousands destroyed—as more than 30 million men lined up for prescriptions and millions more took it without benefit of a doctor’s advice. The AARP declared that Viagra is as significant as the birth control pill that launched the first sexual revolution some 30 years earlier.
A recent AARP study reported that 36% of men 60-69 have intercourse once a week versus 24% of women in the same age group. How do experts explain the discrepancy? Filewich says, “There are a lot more older guys out there cruising for young chicks.”
Another thing that has changed is the ease with which those older guys—and younger people of both sexes—can find like-minded pleasure-seekers. Forget pick-up bars—now it’s all arranged online.
“Adult Friend Finder (www.aff.com) is a big thing,” reports Q, a medical technician who finds pleasure with various partners during her off hours. “I’ve met lots of swingers from Westchester, men who cheat on their wives, guys who are just looking for basic relationships.”I did a quick check of Westchester listings on the website and found hundreds. Q, a woman in her late twenties who lives in the southeastern part of the county, says she prefers to look for partners online because it’s anonymously discreet and, once both people are comfortable with their online relationship, they can move on to a physical one.
“I’ve found people are looking for variety, not the same old boring thing all the time in bed—the man on top, over in five minutes, do it every Tuesday,” Q explains. “Dressing up, using cuffs, role playing, living out a fantasy, including a third or even a fourth person—people really like variety.”Even in Westchester.
Read more about Suburban Sex in this seven-part series.
Dave Donelson, author of Heart of Diamonds a romantic thriller about blood diamonds in the Congo